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...It's all coming together. It also doesn't feel like a hype. It feels like it's always been like this... it's steady, calm... I've no words...Again, I thank you for your patience, perseverance and wisdom!” R.L.

Why I Cause My Clients To Cry With Joy.

Do you like crying in front of people you don't know? 

In my experience, most people don't  - and they normally apologise because they feel embarrassed, or ashamed, or guilty for dragging you into their emotional world.

Emotions are difficult things to deal with and yet deal with them we must. When I work with clients, I celebrate their tears. Because the tears often come with enormous breakthroughs.

But handling emotions is not something that came naturally to me. 

You see, I was never taught how. Were you?

I doubt it. And yet emotional intelligence is a key predictor of our ability to achieve what we want from life.

Check out this diagram and you will see why:

As you can see, the route from the current position to the desired position in a straight line is the most obvious way to go. The crazy squiggly line is the emotional roller coaster we typically travel as our emotions get in the way of our journey. These emotions include any of these - just pick a colour!

So as you can see, there are plenty of emotions to distract us, entangle us, slow us down and otherwise make our journey way more torturous then it needs to be. 

A lack of emotional intelligence limits people's ability to manage themselves, manage others, or manage situations.

On the flip side, I’ve seen people with strong emotional intelligence skills rise above any situation.  They don’t let other people push their buttons, and they connect with others more effectively.

When my clients cry for joy, it's because we have an emotional breakthrough. This is the place where the magic happens. At some level, they know and understand that their journey from where they are, to where they want to get to is no longer going to be as indirect.

Note 

Not all my clients cry - and that's OK too!

if you want to get more of what you want from life, you can hopefully see that emotional intelligence (i.e. The ability to handle your emotions) is going to be an important skill sot learn.

And our emotions are determined by how we see things. So if we want to control you emotions, then you have to change the way we see things.  Shift your paradigm. Take a more considered view from a higher perspective.

Plato


"All learning has an emotional base"

In other words lift our level of consciousness. Then we can look down upon what is happening rather than become embroiled in it.

The key question to ask to achieve this is simply: How is this serving me and how can it serve me more. See the shadow side of what is going on as well as the obvious side. (Remember the rabbit cartoon above?)

Let's say for example, you are waiting for some funding for a project and it's not coming through. There are delays and then more delays. There's nothing you can do about it because its entirely out of your hands. You might feel bored, annoyed, angry, or even enraged. Are those emotions serving you? Are they making anything happen more quickly? I doubt it. 

But if you rise above the situation, you can look at how it might serve you. You can work on the planning further, you can get those things in place that are possible to do so that when the funding arrives everything can happen more smoothly. You can set up systems and processes and refine them more than you could if the project was underway. If all this is done, you can relax, recharge and take a break with someone you love to reconnect and recharge before the onslaught begins. Have you varied from the quickest line from where you are to where you want to go if you take these steps? Not a bit! 

I hope you can see the possibilities and how the change in emotional intelligence can get you from where you are to where you want to go in a more direct manner. 


Key Takeaway

To change your emotions, shift your paradigm

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