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..."At the end of the 6th month I had my first company generating enough cashflow that I decided to quit my job and focus on my business. Within 12 months I had my second business generating more profit than my first... Thanks Lee, you are a phenomenal coach! G.S.
Celebrating The Beauty Of Life - Especially For My Parents.
Some of my clients over the years have told me some pretty horrendous stories about how they were treated as children.
It's ALWAYS apparent how our childhood experiences affect our later life. But we are often unaware of the programs we have installed.
Until it's bought to our attention. For example, have you ever found yourself automatically doing something and then realising this was something you saw an influential person do in your life and now you were doing it on automatic pilot?
What if we lived our whole life based on a few incidents from our childhood that had impacted on our life.
When I was 14 I was bullied for most of the school year.I didn't know how to handle it. I was scared, lonely, afraid and I felt completely unsupported by the teachers at my school. My parents weren't much help either.
One day, in an art class, one of my bullies decided to spill brush cleaning water on the artwork I had been diligently working on. I had finally had enough. I am the opposite of a violent person but I stood up from my seat, put my face in his face and said "let's take this outside right now". After seeing the look in my eyes, he backed down. After that the bullying stopped.
Fortunately I was in a very loving and caring family and we had a good life. So I had a place to retreat, recover and find my chutzpah again. The following school year was entirely different. But many people are not that fortunate.
Despite these circumstances, I have noticed that the effects of those months of bullying still affected my thinking a lot...and it was holding me back - a lot!
Some of my clients were not so lucky as mentioned above.
My point is this, no matter what, your childhood experiences are going to have a strong impact on who you are today. It doesn't matter what game you are playing today - CEO or Doctor - it's going to play along with you in one form or another.
My question is this: Are you going to let your inner child run the rest of your life?
If the answer is NO, then here are some steps you can take to move on:
1. Become aware of your deepest thoughts, beliefs and habitual behaviours. Write a daily journal for a month and see what comes out if you ask yourself these questions: What could I have done better? What was I thinking when I did those things? What did I do from habit that was not serving me? Where did I stand in my own way? Where do I know I could perform better? What specific incidents from my childhood programming that stood in my way today?
"A wonderful childhood is seemingly denied to some, but available to all...with a shift in perspective.
2. Reconcile the past. There are going to be as many positives as negatives from any experience when you look at them with a view to uncovering that which is hidden from plain site. A balanced viewpoint is arrived at when you can see an equal number of positives and negatives, and move to a place of gratitude. Look at each of the specific incidents identified in 1. above, and give yourself an uninterrupted hour or two to this deeply about the incident and all that came out of it that was positive. For example, in the bullying incident in my life I found the following positives: I learned that I had courage when I needed it. It helped me step up to the smarter classes because I had little else to do except focus on my studies. I learned that there was a time to become really angry and use this emotion to my benefit. I decided that no one else was ever going to run my life again. I grew in my self confidence. I learned I could take calculated risks - even when I was scared as heck. I learned to not blindly trust those in authority to look after my well being. I grew into my manhood - I had roared for the very first time! I learned that the world would respect me only when I stood up for myself. I learned sympathy for those that were suffering. I learned that life is not about what happens to you, it's about how you respond to what's happening. I learned to stand up to bullies and was never bullied again. I learned not to live life in fear....OK - you get the idea!
Note About Reconciling your past
The challenge is to find what is hidden from view, so don't expect this exercise to be easy on your own. Be patient, open minded and relaxed and allow the answers to come to you. No matter what happened, there will be benefits despite the story you might have been telling yourself for many years. You are not a victim!
If that doesn't work, please get some expert help.
Once you do this work thoroughly, you will come to see that there are no mistakes. Life is going to give you exactly what you require to learn and grow. And as you move forward with your life, you will embrace the challenges with this knowledge. That will make a huge reduction in the amount of stress you feel and a huge increase in the amount of learning you have.
So make a decision now to do something constructive to honour your childhood for what it was, exactly as it was.
Find out what, how and when past events are running your life today and reconcile them or they will continue to run your life tomorrow.
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